6 Years Love

submitted in by Katrina Lee

I met him in middle school and he was such a nuisance. However, we got along fine with each other. He’s smart, good looking, tall and not so slim not so fat, plays soccer, and can play the guitar. I’ve met his whole family before at his birthday party and he has seen mine around. So, we’re pretty close. Our parents know each other meeting each other at a teachers parents conference. And our families have been to a few trips together over the past few years. I thought I was never going to like him, I even told myself “Nope. There is no way we could end up together because we’re just friends.” That was lie. A big time lie that I didn’t see coming. About our junior year in high school he started dating and before he dated we were salt and pepper and glue and paper. We were always together to the point that sometimes our friends were teasing us, laughing at us and pointing fingers at us saying “Get married already.” However, after he started dating we begin to drift apart. Of course we still hang out with the same group of friends once in a while, but’s really just like “hey you can tell my mom I’m gonna be late because something came up” or “hey did you finished your math homework.” You get the picture? 

Well, at first I didn’t care or at least I said I didn’t care. However, I soon begin to realize that I might be deceiving myself. The turning point was when he was supposed to show up for a group project and was extremely late that we (me and two other friends) have already finished. The other two let it go when he show up and finished with the touchings, but I straight out asked him where he was and what he was doing. Turns out he was with his girlfriend and she was picking out her early birthday gift. I got mad and told him some stuff that was hurtful. And after we were done done with the project, I dropped one of my friends home and she mention “do you like him.” I told her no, but she replied “That’s what people always say and when they realized everything it’s just too late.”  She’s right it is too late now.

We graduated high school in 2009 went separate ways to college, we both dated other guys/girls and it always seemed like his relationships always work out. I always either end up getting dump or breaking off with the guy first. After graduating college, I moved out of state to go live and take care of my grandpa who has asthma. It’s now 2014. While I’m still getting over my latest breakup which ended up horrible and was probably the most horrible one ever even though it’s been almost a year and half now, he is on roll. He got engaged to his girlfriend on the day of their (college) graduation and is now about to get married in the next few weeks.

My friend was right about what she told me earlier. And I hate to admit it, but this time I’m actually the one that’s going to cry with regrets. However, it doesn’t matter how many times I look at their wedding invitation I keep telling myself, “He’s too far for you to reach now. He’s always been out of your reach. He deserves someone better. You’re not good enough for him.” I was a rebellious teenage while he was one that many people in his community praised about and always telling him that he’s going to be fight over a bunch of girls. And a bunch of girls did fought over him, it’s not like you see well behaved Hmong males nowadays. There are nights when I do sometimes ask myself of that night. The night that when we were at his house for a small party because it was his birthday and he had came home for fall break to celebrate it, he asked me what I think about us dating. Sadly, back then I told him that it was a crazy idea. And maybe that put his hopes down because he sort of agreed to what I said. What if I would have replied differently and positively would it had made my life any different now or would we both turned out to be awkward acquaintance due to the aftermath of any relationship? It’s hard to know and imagine.

The only thing I can do now is attend their wedding as a best friend would and hope for the best for them and me.

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