I feel like the time we spent together was so short. Actually, we never did spend any quality time together though we lived so close. I hated you so much and you probably did or did not know, but I hated you and hated grandma. There are times when I told myself that you only loved my brothers and cousins more, you care less about my sisters and I. Thus, I did not want to be a fidelity granddaughter to you or grandma. I was going to go far away from college, make you and grandma missed me and begged me to come home for a visit. However, you and grandma left back to California and I didn’t care. I was too busy in life too busy preparing for college. I didn’t give the tiniest damn about you guys until you really did left. And I cried because I regretted all the hate I put towards you and grandma. I cried because I don’t even have a damn memory of just the two of us being together. I have no memory of you except your gruff face, personality and you sitting out on the front porch every afternoon making stools and baskets.
I’m not saying I want you back because I know you are in a better place, but I did wish that you could have taken better care of your health and that you were not so stubborn because then you could have lived longer. In fact, I was not going to run away because wherever I go I would always come back home. And even if you were too lived in another place, I would still visit and stay with you. My only goal was to make you proud and that is still my only goal. I just want to be a granddaughter that you’re proud of. I didn’t want to give you any scars like how you unintentionally gave me.
Your love that I always questioned, it doesn’t even matter now because after a long while of being childish I knew that you loved all of us. And, I know that no matter where you are you are still looking out for us, protecting us from possible dangers. You’re always with us. As for grandma, I promised to go visit her one day soon when I am able to find a stable paying job. She misses you so much that she cannot leave California, but I promise you that she is healthy and fine as ever. I guess this is where goodbye ends for both of us after these long four years.
Thank you for everything.