I heard the sky thunder as I walk through the gloomy paths on campus. Walking under my purple umbrella, I kept my head down under my black hoodie and monitor each of my every step. As I heard more rain drops on my umbrella I looked up to see the people around me. There were some running late to class, rushing to get out of the shower, some listening to music, and some occupy on their phone. Lastly, there were some like me just walking around and pretending to not care.
As I walked in the cold rain I realized I liked the rain more that day. The weather was gloomy and perfect for me to stay inside all cuddled on my bed and just take a good nap. A good weather for me to just have me time. I looked ahead and saw a puddle, usually I would walk around it but somehow I told myself “Just do it. It’ll be fun. It’s like being a kid again.” And sure enough, I walked straight into the puddle and as the cold water seeped into my pair of turquoise Nike’s and into my black socks the sensation woke me up from my sleepiness. I have never felt more good than any mornings.
I skipped the campus shuttle bus and decided to walk to my dorm. It’s a tough hill to walk, but I’ll at least enjoy the good rain. And as I walked to my room it dawned on me about how much I’ll like my feelings to be shown like this bipolar weather. Thundering when I’m angry and frustrated, raining when I’m upset, overwhelmed, sad, sunny when I’m all hyped, excited, and feeling happy. And snowing when I feel cold and lonely. The realization of how much I suppressed my feelings overtime and not knowing how to properly expressed it. The realization that I barely have any friends on campus and that my friends are always busy. And the realization that I’m always rushing myself because I’m afraid. Afraid of what?
I don’t know.
Why do I always rush myself because other people around me rush themselves? Why do I want to be like them? What do I get in return?
I don’t know. Don’t know. Nothing.
After I made it to my dorm, I realized I enjoyed the walk. I enjoyed listening to the sound of the rain. And that I have enjoyed listening to the sound of the birds’ early morning calls every morning when I walked to class. I enjoyed seeing the gloomy look the flowers on rainy days and that I enjoyed the glowing look on the flowers sunny day.
Simplicity. Something that has disappeared from my life a long time ago that I couldn’t find the words to describe what was missing. The small things in my life that got buried by the large things.
A good rain knows it all.