The Perks of Being Single

Often, I get asked by my relatives about when I’m going to find a boyfriend and when they are going to hear wedding bells. I always awkwardly smile and respond that I’ll find one when it’s the right time only to be reminded that I’m getting older, not younger. Not to mention, very few of my friends and older cousins liked to set me up on blind dates. Yeah, I’ve had a few of those went wrong, especially when the guy turns out to be a chauvinistic, conservative, and very traditional.

There are times when I do feel insecure about my future. Once, my coworker asked me if I have ever thought of marriage and having kids. I told her that never crossed my mind. So, I begin to ask myself what if I never get married? Additionally, there are times when I get jealous my friends that are in a relationship. Seeing them happy and lovey-dovey can sometimes make me feel insecure about myself because then I question about what I lack and if I’m attractive enough.

However, at the end of the day, it is natural for people to desire what they don’t have. And not everyone who is in a relationship is happy, for example, those in an abusive relationship. But because we desired what we don’t have, we often forget to appreciate the benefits of being single. After doing so much thinking, here are five awesome reasons to what I believe makes being single awesome.

First and foremost, it’s all about the money. I don’t know about other people, but some of my closest friends spend around $300-$500 per year on their girl/boyfriends. I think the amount is ridiculous. Plus, I don’t even spend that much on my siblings per year. There was this one time, when a few friends and I had planned to go on a road trip, a month before the date one the girl backed out because she said that she couldn’t save money. When I asked her why she responded that she spent half of her savings buying a Michael Kors watch for her boyfriend’s birthday. I totally understand the buying a gift for your significant other’s birthday, but I definitely don’t feel comfortable buying high-end products when the next day there might a breakup.

Secondly, you can travel anywhere. Of course, you can travel with your partner, but there are times when you may want to go alone or with your friends and don’t want to feel guilty about not bringing your partner. One thing about me is that I like traveling, even if it’s just a three-hour road trip. Most of the times, I like to go alone and to clear my mind, often other times I go with my friends. There was this one time when I went with two of my friends. One of them was engaged and on the way to Gatlinburg, Tennessee she was arguing on the phone with her boyfriend. He was upset that she went without him and after she tried multiple times to explain to him that it was an all girls’ getaway day trip, he was still mad. Half the trip was spent listening to how worried she was upsetting him and complaining about how he’s not responding to her texts.

Third, you don’t have to worried about the question, “so when are you two going to get married”? Even though, I hate having relatives asking me about when I’m going to find a boyfriend or when they’re going to hear wedding bells. I know that for the most part, it’s all jokes. If I start to date and they asked me “when are you two going to get married,” it’s just going to make things more awkward. I believe that hearing that question causes more pressure because then you get familial pressure that you’re obligated to get married to the man/woman that you brought home a few times for those short family gatherings. Just because you’re dating doesn’t mean that it’ll lead straight to marriage.

Fourth, you don’t need to have checkpoint communications throughout the day. I’ll be honest, having my mom asking my siblings to text me where I’m at or doing sometimes gets on my nerves. When my dad was still alive, he texted me twice a day when I went out for the day. Sometimes, I don’t even hear my phone ring or those text notifications. Luckily, as long as I responded within an hour and a half, my parents don’t get too overwhelmed. I have a friend, that whenever we hang out and if she’s driving, she makes me text her now ex-boyfriend. It was always short messages like, “we’re done for the day heading back to campus,” or “getting lunch with Mai right now.”

Last but not least, you have more than enough time to focus on your ambitions. I have to say that this probably the one reason as to why I’m single. There’s a lot that I want to do and fulfill. I’m a young woman with dreams and goals that I don’t want to be tied down to one place because of a man. If I do end up being with a man that is supportive of my choices and ambitions, then that’s good because then I know that I’m not alone and I have one more person on my side. Being single gives you and myself included, time to build careers and maybe even moving out to a new city or country to pursue better opportunities.

I’m not claiming that being in a relationship suck, but I am saying that if you’re single then there is no need to mope around about your single life. Being single can be fun if you make the most out of it. It also gives you time to re-evaluate about your life and well-being. In all, it’s just the time that is all about you, only you, and you should just enjoy it.

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2 thoughts on “The Perks of Being Single

  1. Lol, I definitely agree about the money. And I agree with what you say at the end. There’s nothing wrong whether you are in a relationship or not, just depends on how you make it worth while.

  2. You are not alone. I too get asked when I’m going to find a woman and get married when I’m a 27-year-old Hmong man. Yes, I do plan on getting married and having kids one day. The fact is I have never dated nor had a girlfriend before so it’ll be a challenge for me.

    You do have 5 awesome perks for being single. I definitely would not spend half of my savings or a lot of money on a girlfriend because like you said, a breakup could just be on the next day. Then what? There goes half of your savings. And if you ask for the money back, it’ll be a “no” or “you willingly gave it away.” If any boyfriend/girlfriend value you based on how much money you make or spend on them, then they’re not worthy of you because boyfriend/girlfriend should be together regardless of money. I’m sure we don’t want to be with someone who will leave us when we’re at financial hardships.

    Communication is consistent like you mentioned. They’ll probably want to know where you are or what you’re doing. In their case, they’re probably looking out for your own well being. And to make sure you’re not cheating. I’ll be honest, I’m one of those guys who would constantly call my girlfriend consistently to know what she’s doing and where she is. The last thing I want happening is a girlfriend cheating on me.

    Of course, having a career is important too. If you find someone who will support you, that’s even better. I do hope you get better opportunities soon. Best wishes to you MaiMai! May you soon meet that future husband who can love and accept you for who you are!

    Sign,
    Kawm

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