Journal Diaries

my happy and single life

Yes, I am single.

Yes, I am happy and content.

Yes, sometimes I get jealous of my friends with girlfriends or boyfriends.

However, that is what life is all about. You cannot have everything, so you will just have to adapt to the situation. Here a quick sneak peak on my past love life.

The only serious relationship I have been in lasted for a year. For privacy purposes I will just call him Toby. He and I met during my second year in college through a friend. Toby was also my friend’s roommate. We got a long fine and after a few persistence moves and not leaving me alone, I finally say “Yes, Toby I’ll date you.” However, I call it done with Toby because I was too focused myself and was not ready to be in a relationship. I definitely had commitment issues. I wasn’t cheating on him, but sometimes I cancel our plans to hang out with my friends. I was a badass and savage girlfriend. We are still good friends and I even went to Toby’s wedding.

I talk to a few guys on dating apps like Tinder and Hinge. I even had Bumble, but honestly, I don’t know what to say. So, even if it is a match, I don’t make the first move. Talking to a stranger is VERY complicated for me. Moreover, I don’t stay long on dating apps, I find myself deleting my account and when I’m very bored–I mean very bored–I would just create another one with new profile pictures. I even had a few blind dates, but I don’t go on second dates.

Hence all the reasons as to why I am still single. I do enjoy my single life. All my money goes towards me or my family. I don’t have to worry about saving money for the next date or buying nice gifts. I don’t have to wait for someone to voice out what they want to eat (the exception for my family). I can do whatever I want and when I want (once again the exception is my family). However, being single has given me some advantages in life when I compared myself to other women around me.I can change my own car tires, oil, and headlights. I can cut the grass. I even know how to use a drill, probably one of the most simplest steps of becoming a full dependent woman.

Jokes aside, my single life has led me to become more dependable. Seriously though, I do know how to change my car oil and car tires. Also, this past summer I learned how to change my car headlights after watching a YouTube tutorial.

As a matter of fact when I am out enjoying the beautiful day by myself, I don’t mind taking pictures for other couples. There has been countless time when some couples asked me to take pictures for them and if I’m carrying my camera around, I used it to take pictures for them if their phone camera has low quality. I also have no shame in carrying my tripod if I want to take some pictures of myself. I don’t have someone to hang out with on my free days or someone to talk to during my break or before I go to bed, but I like spending my time alone. Plus, since I’m in school I spend. my time doing homework. If I’m not doing homework, then I watch a movie, tease my younger siblings, learn a new recipe, do some self reflection or laid in bed until I fall asleep.

I do get the question from friends and some family, “you have a boyfriend yet,” or “when are we going to hear wedding bells?” Now, I don’t get offended from these types of questions nor do I get tired of people asking me these types of questions. I would either give a simple or witty response. One time my mom’s brother in law asked me and my sisters “when will I get to drink some beer?” In my culture that means when he is going to hear some wedding bells. I responded “Uncle, if it’s some beer you want I can just go buy it for you.” We both laugh and he jokingly clarified “I don’t your beer I want my future son-in-law’s beer.” It was a good laugh for everyone.

Every now and then I do think about marriage and children. When I do think about it, that’s when I would give dating a try. I have no idea how many times I have given dating a try and just never work out. Sometimes I joke with my friends that online dating is not for me because I don’t know what to say. However, when I do go on blind dates or meet the guy in person it just doesn’t go well. If the date goes well, then I always come back to focusing on my needs and wants. It always come to the conclusion that I want to focus on myself, which is not a bad thing.

When you are single, you get the chance for self improvements including a little break from relationships to re-evaluate what you really want for a life partner. You also get time to heal from heartbreaks and enjoy doing some of things you miss doing or new things. Being single just mean self care and self love. It doesn’t mean that you’re lonely or going to be alone for the rest of your life. I have been single for the majority of my life and I’m happy about it. I have found friends that I can talk and go on trips with. I have my family, sometimes we fight and get on each others’ nerves but that’s family for everyone. I don’t feel bad for myself when my friends find a new boyfriend or girlfriend. In fact, I have too much time on my hand to get upset over such trivia things. I’m single and I’m happy. If you’re also single, then you should also embrace it and be happy.

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