For the past few weeks, I went on three different dates. I have no idea why I agreed to go on these dates when all I wanted to do was stay home and relaxed. These dates happened, and I cannot undo them. Here is a glimpse of how these dates went. Also, a little disclaimer I did change the names of all my dates for privacy reason.
Choose Your Words Wisely
I met Brandon at my cousin’s wedding. He is a nurse and her coworker. I think he is cute and handsome and very tall. After the wedding, he found me on Facebook, and we started talking. Then he asked me to go on a date which happened towards the end of May. I should add that during the wedding, he did make small conversations with me. My initial thought was to decline the date, but then my cousin said I should give him a chance and that I have been staying home too much these days. It was going well until he said something to me during our lunch. Here was how the conversation went:
Brandon: “I don’t really like dating pretty girls because they seemed high maintenance. Plus, I feel like girls who are bigger or not as pretty as skinny models and look will stay with me longer–
Me: Because you know you look good, fit, and muscular, and yeah. I’m sure any girl would want you, Nurse Brandon.
I know he knew that he screwed up because he was no longer enjoying that guacamole burger. Anyway, I ended our date after lunch. He did message me to apologize and asked me for another date. However, this time I declined right away after telling him my true thoughts about him.
A Hike for a First Date
My second date was with Mark. It happened almost a week and a half after my date with Brandon. However, I met Mark two months before Brandon. I met Mark through my friend Kris from college. Kris and I decided to meet halfway to hang out for a day, and he brought along one of his high school friends. After spending almost an entire day together, Mark asked for my Snapchat username, and we have been talking time to time with each other. So, Mark and I met halfway. We spend the day hiking, which is a fun activity to do for a first date.
I enjoy a good hike now and then, but the thought of hiking on a first date was never flattering for me. So, when he messaged me about hiking, I did not know how to feel about it, but since I also did not feel like putting on makeup and dressing cute, I decided to give it a go. I did make it clear to him that I haven’t hike for a long time, so there was no way I could hike a difficult level. He was very generous, and we went with an easy to medium hiking trail. Compared to the first time we met when Kris was present, it was very awkward with just the two of us, but thankfully we could make small talks about the scenery. We also got a chance to talk more about other topics as well.
However, as soon as we went to get late lunch, the awkwardness came back while waiting for our food. With some quick wits, Mark messaged me on Snapchat, asking me about the hike. I thought it was a cute move because I was immediately laughing, thinking he could have just asked me instead of using our phones. I even told him that, but he said that he just wanted to see me smile since I look so afraid of him. Of course, I clarify to him that I was not and just awkward again. Overall my date with Mark went well.
A Blast from the Past
The last date I went on was with a man I met about two years ago on Bumble. His name is Jim, and this is my third date with him. It has been a long time since we talked or seen each other. He never responded to my last message, but it did not matter because I deleted all my dating accounts since I was not very active, and it was just more apps taking up space. I forgot all about him until I went to hang out with my friends and ran into him while shopping at an outlet. Before parting ways, he asked me if I can grab lunch or dinner with him, so I just gave him two dates when I was available.
It was awkward. I did not know what to say during lunch, and honestly, I was pretty confused. Why did he want to get lunch with me after these two years? Yes, we went on two dates before, but that was so long ago. He asked me why I deactivated my account and did not leave him any contact information to break the silence. I felt terrible, but not that bad. I responded that I got busy and was not very active on my account, so I deactivated it.
Jim: I hope you didn’t deactivate it because you thought I ghosted you.
Me: No, as I said, I got busy, and honestly, you did ghost me. You never messaged me back after two months. But I was too busy to be worried about some guy who never responded.
Jim: (laughing) I’m sorry, but are you not going to ask me why I never responded?
Me: (also laughing) No, I’m sure you had your reasons, and it isn’t like you broke my heart, and I spend endless days and nights going crying like an emotional wreck. I mean I continue with my everyday life.
Jim: Yeah, you’re right. I did have my reasons, but not valid reasons, though.
While he asked me if we could start from square one again, I told him there was one thing I regretted not doing before deactivating my account. However, I would also feel like a horrible person if I had told him what I wanted to say and then deactivated my account without hearing what he had to say back. Our date ended on a good note where both of us got the closure that we needed.