you can’t save everyone

I look into my friend’s eyes as I opened my mouth, “you can’t save everyone,” I tell her as her tears come down relentlessly. I get up to walk away but not before telling her “you did everything you can, it’s now up to him.” We all have been there before when we tried to “save” a friend or family member. We offer help endlessly, but the opposite party doesn’t change or accept our offers. Not everyone is meant to be saved by us and we’re not meant to saved everyone that comes into our lives.

A few years ago, I tried helping the same person. Once upon a time we were friends, the three of us, then that friendship was broken between him and me. His name is Jacob. There was many things happening in his life and it was affecting our friendship. His wife ran away leaving him with their son, he lost his job, became addicted to tobacco, lost his house, and basically lost his way. Not to mention he is on bad terms with his parents, because they now have custody of his son. I remember him coming to me crying and saying that he needed to change and a new job. I gave him resources and even places I knew that were hiring. When he needed a ride to work, I would give offer him one and sometimes pick him up and drop him off at wherever he was staying. That didn’t work out though, he couldn’t stay working at one place long enough. He stayed for a few days and then quit. It was a non-stopping cycle until I finally had enough. I remember telling him that if he wasn’t going to help himself then I no longer will help him. Additionally, I told him that he still owes me $20 and that I hated how he used my money to buy cigarettes instead of buying a gift for his son’s birthday, which was his original intent of borrowing my money.

Jacob and I no longer were friends, but he and Savannah still was. Moreover, Savannah always had a one sided love with Jacob and he knew that. After graduating high school, Savannah join the US Marines. She became a great woman. We see each other time to time and I have been keeping her updated with Jacob until I decided to cut all ties with him. That was when I told her he was hopeless and helpless. Nonetheless, she still kept in touch with him and give him a little bit of money when he asked for it. Eventually she helped find him job in which he lasted for two whole years. Everything seems like it was going great, Jacob eventually gave me back the $20 he owes me through Savannah. However, she voiced her concerns because he was not cutting back on the smoking, drinking, and that some of his new friends were on drugs. She was worried about him. I told her to stop wasting her time because it seems like he is not going to stop and help himself anytime soon. A few months go by and we come to the scene at the beginning of this post. Savannah shows up in front of my house unannounced in tears. Everyone in my family has gone to work and already except for me and my two younger siblings.

I don’t need to know what happened.”

“I don’t understand. Why does it has to happen?”

“He’ll come around one day. Hopefully before it’s too late.”

“I really thought he was changing for the better. Once again this just proves how stupid I am.”

“You can’t save everyone. So stop blaming yourself. You did everything you can, so now it’s up to him.”

“Once again you were right.”

“I know I am not always right, but also I’m never wrong.”

“I hate you.”

“I know. You hungry?”

A few days ago I pulled into Walmart and saw him. He was standing in the cold holding a sign that reads “Homeless and jobless. Any spare change will be great help. God bless you.” After the short shopping trip, I grabbed $60 from my purse and put it inside an envelope that I had crunched up. I found a pen and a scrap of paper. Quickly, I scribbled a few words and put it inside the envelope. I hand it to my sister, along with the food from McDonalds, a rotisserie chicken and bag of Hawaiian rolls. Then, I told her to go give it to the man as I take the cart full of our stuff to my car.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“What is it Savannah? You know I can do anything as long it’s nothing crazy and wild.”

“When you see Jacob again can you tell him that when he decides that he needs help, he can always come to me. Also, here is $60 to pay him back when he lent me money for that New York trip back in high school. He never wanted me to pay him back, so I never bother. But now, I guess he might need his $60 back.”

She Was Born a Woman

*Note: This is not my story, this is a story from a friend. All names have been altered for privacy purposes. Also, for anyone who gets offended by this story, please just move along with your life and don’t bother wasting the seconds of your life ticking away by leaving any hate comments.

It irks me that even though I along with many Hmong youths are born in the United States, our culture still has not change much at all. We live in the present, going to the future, but many of the older generations still keep to the old traditional ways. Practices that sometimes can be hurtful. Today, I share a story of a close friend that took her life years ago.

Pa was a bright young girl and who had her whole future plan ahead of her. We knew each other since we were young, then her family moved. Every other summer her family would come back down and visit, so we remain our close friendship. We spent days chatting on Facebook talking about our future. Then we graduated high school and went to college. We were plenty of states apart, but still we kept talking and inform each other about our classes. Complaining to one another about how challenging anatomy and organic chemistry was, yet at the same time learning from each other. A year went by and we survived freshmen year, then another year went by and we made it through our second year. Two more years left until we graduate! At least one of us made it through all four years.

The summer before we started our third year, Pa decided to hang out with some of her close friends. It was just three weeks away before move in day. She never made it back home. Instead, her parents got news that her friend, Tou, had took her to his home against her will. All elders on both side said that nothing can be fixed because his family has already welcomed her and she was part of their family. So, the wedding was schedule. Before her wedding date we talked on the phone and she was crying. She cried to me saying it wasn’t fair, he was to picked her up first then picked up the rest of their friends. However, he claimed he forgot his wallet so they went to his house. It was then when they both stood in front of his door, when his family opened it standing at with all the preparations.

She told me of how she resisted, but at the end he won because he was more physically powerful. She cried and cried as I listen to her story, then we both went to bed. The wedding went on and she got married. Then she got pregnant against her will and he made her quit school. A year later she got pregnant by force again, at this time I graduated and she called me congratulating me in tears. I asked her if she was happy, she said no and that her Tou was cheating on her. I comfort her to the best of my ability, but I know nothing could heal her wounds. A year later, she took her life after Tou beat her up so badly because she would not let him go out drinking with his friends. Her in-laws fail to protect her like they promised her parents and Tou fail to love and protect her like how he promised her family.

Two weeks ago, I ran into her little brother, he had moved back down with his older brother, and is currently attending university studying Women’s Gender and Political Science. I didn’t recognize him because he had grown into a nice and handsome young man, but he approached me while I was shopping at Walmart. We gave each other a hug and then I treated him to dinner. It was then that he told me, he decided to study Women’s Gender and Political Science because part of Pa’s last words to him was “my only mistake was that I was born a woman.”

a stranger’s talk

The store was so quiet, it is that time frame again where everyone is out getting dinner and about 2-3 customers shows up within an hour until we close for the night. Sometimes, if we are lucky no customers show up for the last hour and we close fifteen minutes early leaving right on the dot. As I grab the stool and sit on it while munching away on my Kit Kat bar, I began to stare into space. Four angry customers back to back over something I have no control (thanks a lot online orders) and I was dead tired. A walking zombie I was.

“Hello beautiful young lady, maybe you can help me,” the customer said giving me a startle. I didn’t even realized that someone was in the store. I quickly smile at him and put my face mask on while greeting him. He told me what he was looking for and I told him where to find it. Of course, he came to me a few times with other questions and I answer it all even while I was checking him out. My coworker was on her thirty minute meal break.

“I bet your parents are proud of you, juggling school and work at the same time. Where do you go to school?” I have forgotten that I was logged into my school portal trying to do a few class discussion when I was cutting his fabrics for him. I told him where I was attending school and what I was majoring in. I even joke about the “making my parents proud” as I failed to find a career for the past seven years. He laughed before saying “I’m sure they are proud because you never gave up and you haven’t yet or you wouldn’t be going back to school.”

As he stand with his bag in front of the store staring at the Christmas ornaments, he turned around back to me. “I was never a good father for my daughter. If she was alive she would be around your age or maybe a little older. Back in the days I became an alcoholic after losing my job and my wife left the both of us. I actually been in and out of jail and my daughter was put into a foster home. After many years, I decided to get help and then reconnected with my daughter. We spent her last few months together and she taught me how to sew. Now I love sewing.” He gave me one last smile and bid me good night before walking out into the darkness. Once again, the store was filled with emptiness.

The Reflection SHe Sees

As I was cutting fabric away, the little girl standing in front of me slowly open her mouth and said to me, “You’re really pretty miss.” I stop cutting, though my face mask was covering my face, I still smile and told you her thank you. Then I continue to cut away. After the store finally turned quiet, I swear I have heard Cheddar’s paw crawling away in the corner a few time. I got the chance to sat down and catch my breath while the little girl’s words play over in my head.

I stare at my reflection on my phone. Clearly, she must be too naive because I look anything, but pretty and beautiful. I looked like I have been beat down and need a good shower. Plus, these days I don’t wear makeup except for my eyebrows. However, there are days when I’m too lazy to do my eyebrows and this was one of those days. I basically slept in, rolled of out bed, ate leftovers, spray my hair with a sh*t ton dry shampoo before gathering it into a thin ponytail. Then I threw on my old oversized black shirt, blue jeans, and Adidas shoes before going to work. Like, I said I was far off from being pretty.

Children are so nice, or are they? I have no children, but I have friends that do. They often tell me that children speaks the truth-most of the time. However, my friends have also told me that children do not lie about who they think is pretty, ugly, or handsome. One of my friends, told me one time she was a bit upset that her daughter and son told her that Jennie of BlackPink is more pretty than she is. At the same time, she finds the situation hilarious. I also found the situation hilarious as I was being laughing away and wiping my tears.

Throughout my 27 years of life–yes I’m just that old–not a lot of people tells me that I’m beautiful and I’m perfectly fine with that. I don’t yearn for compliments telling me that I’m gorgeous, sexy, or whatever. Instead, I like to hear that I’m intelligent, hardworking, reliable and courageous. I look for comments that makes me want to improve myself. Of course, there was a time–especially when I was young–I really wanted my friends to compliment me about how I look good in a certain pair of shirts or jeans. Even when I wear my hair down–that was a rare golden gem look for me– or the slightest tint of lipstick I did want to hear that I look pretty. However, at some point I didn’t care much for it anymore and I don’t know why.

That night though, I was just so tired and could only think of when all the customers would hurry up out the store. I was cutting fabric after fabric, my employee kept calling me for returns/exchanges, and the phone kept ringing. I needed a break, but I still had to be nice and polite to my customers and communicate with them. So, when she said those little words to me even if she may have not meant it, it made my day a whole lot better. For some reason after she said that, I just thought to myself “It will be a great shift tonight. Just hang in there.”

As I was sitting and relaxing, my employee came to the back and said “That little girl told me to tell you she thinks you’re pretty.” We both laugh and I joke with my employee by responding “I wonder what kind of reflection she sees in me.”

what i learn after losing a parent

We all hate losing a love one. It is painful and unbearable, as if the whole world is coming to an end. It has been two years since my father passed away. During these two years, I have lost myself because I did not know what to do with my life. It was complicated and still is. However, during these past two years I have also learned a lot about grieving, healing, and moving on. Today, I am going to share with all of you the lessons I learned after losing a parent.

  1. It takes a long time to heal.
  2. You tell your friends to appreciate their parents.
  3. The last word exchanges either hurt or becomes a beautiful memory.
  4. Parents are human.
  5. They always had your back.
  6. You will talk with the air seeking guidance and wisdom.
  7. They will become stories to your children.
  8. They won’t be there for your wedding or maybe your younger siblings’ wedding. They just won’t be there no more.
  9. You randomly miss them and you randomly cry.
  10. If you are even a human being, you will live your best life in honor of them.

I went through a compulsive shopping spree for these past two years; it was something that I have never experienced. My money kept disappearing! I couldn’t save anything and would ran out of money before my next paycheck. It was just so horrible because I piled up on so much clothes that I don’t even wear. Additionally, I bought so many purses and shoes just to momentarily make me happy. Then I needed to a new laptop to go back to school and finish my Master’s degree, but I didn’t have money to reapply or to buy a new laptop. That was when, I knew needed to get my sh*t together and pull myself through. For the last two years, I re-evaluated my life while slowly putting myself together piece by piece. The process is never easy, but it will make you become a stronger individual.

Job Hunt Burnout

Exhausted. Rejections. Feeling downgraded. It is exactly how I feel right now. For years I have been wanting to move and get out from the retail industry. I’m 27, soon to be 28, I have bills to pay and $9 per hour is just not going to provide me for the rest of my life. My paychecks barely get me through two weeks.

Each and every day I’m constantly on LinkedIn and Indeed looking at jobs scrolling down the page through the late nightfall. The requirements and qualifications for those job postings make my head hurts. Nonetheless, I still give it a shot. Some which lead me to rejections and most I never even heard back from.

When I fill out these applications and get to the surveys, I just ask myself why? Why? How are these surveys judging me before I can even meet with the employers? Why are the surveys giving me a personality score when the surveys don’t even know me and I’m just being honest?! What am I doing wrong that I cannot even get a job?!

I look at jobs located three hours away and even out of state, but with my student loans I cannot afford to move out. I’ll be dirt poor and homeless before I know it! I comfort myself by going to sleep, browse online adding stuff to all my shopping carts but never make a purchase, and then just watch funny shows to lighten my day. It’s so depressing.

Application after application and I’m burnout. I’m tired of looking. I’m tired of editing my resume and cover letter. I’m even tired of working at my current job!

I look at all my friends, most of them, who have a career and think to myself that they must be happy or less miserable than me. Some people ask me why don’t I get a new job, but they don’t even know the amount of applications I put in each week. They don’t even know how I silently cry myself to sleep each night. They have no idea how many times I have to pick myself up and start from square one. I have no idea how many times I have given up hope on myself, to only bite my tongue, accept the results and move on with life.

Job hunt burnout is real and for once I would just like to hear from someone that it’s okay and I’m doing fine.

My Thoughts on Face Mask Mandates

A lot of the states now are making face masks mandatory when out in the public. Some states probably have exceptions. Honestly, it has not been easy for anyone. Since, I work in retails and my store manager enforces that every customers wear a face coverings I decided to share my thoughts on it. Just for everyone’s information our store has an official sign from corporate requiring face masks. Therefore, corporate is actually the one enforcing that everyone wears a face mask. Moreover, we provide curbside service through buy online pickup at the store for customers who cannot or choose not to wear any kind of face coverings.

The store I work at never shut down. Ever since the limitation of customers in the store, we’ve been getting so many nasty attitudes from customers. Then of course, a few months goes by we decided to reopen the doors instead of limiting the amount of customers. Even at this time I was so emotionally and mentally exhausted from the way customers treated me and my coworkers on a daily basis for following government and corporate regulations.

Then of course came the face mask mandate that is now some type of conspiracy in court. Face mask has now become a political topic. A sensational topic dividing citizens apart instead of making everyone working together through this whole pandemic.

My coworkers and I have no choice but to wear a face mask or any type of face coverings. One because none of us have medical conditions and secondly we work there. Every single day there are a handful of customers that we have to ask to put on a face mask. I work some mornings, mainly the closing shift, but I can say this for sure. The morning shift people don’t have to worry about rude customers because all the rude customers love to shop during my shift.

Most of the customers that we have to asked to wear a face mask always say the same thing, “I’m an exemption” or “I have a medical exemption.” I understand that you are an exception because like you I can also read. Maybe unlike you, I read through the whole entire mandate which allows stores to make accommodations for anyone that meets any of the exceptions. (Insert picture).

Every time I, along with my coworkers, tell them the same thing. “Face masks are require in our store as there is also a sign on the door. If you cannot wear one then you can use our curbside service, which is buy online and pickup at our store.” They would storm out and come back in with a face mask. They leave empty handed, but we can all care less.

We even have customers who have said they don’t have face masks or forgot it. Of course, we said the same thing (wear one or use the online service) in addition to telling them they can purchase face mask from the store. Some customers will buy one while the majority goes out to their car and come back with a face mask on.

Why do people do this? If you have a medical exception and you know for sure that the store requires face mask, but have accommodation for you why do you have to come in and then get upset? First all, if you are really that sick or have a serious medical condition why are you out and about shopping in such a small store where people can barely have room to stay six feet apart?!

I don’t like asking customers to put a face mask on in front of other people, but I do it because my supervisor tell us too and because corporate is enforcing it. I feel bad that a customer have a medical condition and can’t breath, but what can I do beside providing the customer with other shopping options. I’m just doing job.

If I ask you, a customer, to put a face mask on while I’m nice. Then just say you will put it on, trust me I’ll even say thank you and leave you alone. However, if I ask you nicely and you give me an attitude, don’t think I won’t give you one back. If you threaten to walk out because I ask you to put a face mask on, I won’t even waste my energy to stop you. If you make a smart and loud remark to me saying that you should have went somewhere else, I will tell you to go another store even if that store is our competitor. I will treat you like how you are treating me.

I’m working during the pandemic. I’m not even considered an essential worker. I don’t get but a two dollar extra pay, yet every day I have to deal with rude customers. Everyday I wear a face mask for seven to eight hours, sometimes ten. So, I can protect customers and my coworkers. Yet, some customers don’t want to wear a face mask to protect me, my coworkers, and other customers. There are times when I step into the back to take my face mask off for thirty seconds just because I feel suffocated or I start getting heat rash on my face. Nonetheless, I put it back on and continue doing my job.

There have been customers who claim that we are discriminating against them, just because they have a medical condition. So, what about your fellow customer over there with a face mask on and is also carrying a ventilator? What about that man over there claiming he has asthma, but he choose to wear one to protect strangers and people he love? There are customers who come in and tell us it’s hard for them to breath because of their medical condition, but they wear one because they choose too. Moreover, I’m sorry that you have a medical condition and I apologize if you feel that way, but I’m just doing my job of what corporate asked us to do.

Additionally, if you, a customer, think that retail workers really like asking you to cover your nose and mouth. Then you’re wrong. Just as much as you, the customer, hate being asked to put a face mask on. We, retail workers, hate asking you to wear one because we deal with it and we get nasty attitudes on a daily basis. As soon as we see you walking towards our doors with no face masks, or you don’t bother to stop and put one one. We’re having an eye rolling competition with our coworkers, preparing ourself to ask, yet again, another customer to wear a face mask. Everyday we deal with same cycle, yet, we to bite our tongue and continue servicing customers like nothing happened.

If you, the customer, refuse to wear a face mask and refuse to leave because you believe it takes away your civil rights. Then I have two things to say. I, as a retail worker, have the right to not service you. Also, you’re trespassing so I will call the authorities to come escort you out.

I don’t know about other retail workers, but I know that my coworkers and friends, who work in retails, are exhausted. We are mentally and emotionally exhausted. There have been countless days when I just want to turn in my keys, but I can’t. I live with my family, I’m the second oldest child so I have responsibilities. Plus, I’m in graduate school. I got bills and tuition to pay.

Some nights I silently cry myself to sleep because I should not have to go through the same cycle day after day. I, along with all the other retail workers nationwide, should not have to consistently ask customers to wear a face mask. It is not like COVID happen yesterday, it’s been happening for the past six to seven months. And you’re telling me, probably a dozen more retail workers, that you don’t have a face mask?! Where were you when everyone was busy buying materials to make face mask nationwide wiping out elastics? Where were you when other people were rushing to put in orders from small business owners to get their face masks?

As much as I have received so many bad remarks, rude and nasty attitudes from customers. I also like to thank the small handful of customers who stand up for me and my coworkers. As well customers who always tell me and my coworkers that they appreciate us working during these hard times.

Finally, even if this whole COVID-19 pandemic turns out to be conspiracy in court. At the end of the day, it will make me happy that you wear a face mask not because you were asked to, but you choose too because you care.

Cinnamon Rolls

I love cooking and it has been a while since I shared a recipe. So, today I’m going to share how I make cinnamon rolls at home. These cinnamon rolls are easy and simple to make. Also, my family loves eating them so much that I have to double the recipe. You can use a stand mixer, electrical whisk, or go the traditional way to get a 30 second arm work out.

Time includes prepping and cooking: 1 hour and 45 minutes
Serving: 12-18 rolls

For the dough you will need:

  • 4 1/2 cups of flour
  • 2 1/2 teaspoon of yeast
  • 1 cup milk warm up
  • 3/4 cup melted butter
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 teaspoon salt

For the filling:

  • 1/2 cup butter–not completely melted
  • 1 cup packed of brown sugar
  • 2-3 tablespoon of cinnamon

For the icing:

  • 3/4 cups powder sugar
  • 1/2 cup milk ( I use 2% milk, but feel free to use any kind of milk you want)

Instructions:

  • Heat the milk for 30 seconds. It should be lukewarm to the touch.
  • Pour the yeast into the milk. Don’t stir just let the yeast sit on the milk.
  • Melt the butter for 30 seconds-1 minute.
  • In a bowl mix the flour, salt, and sugar.
  • Add the milk, butter, and eggs.
  • Mix thoroughly.
  • For this step you can use the same bowl or a separate bowl. Anyway you want to spray cooking oil into the bowl and then put the dough into this bowl.
  • Cover it and let it rise. Usually it takes 30 minutes, but depending on your house temperature it may take longer for the dough to rise.
  • While your dough is rising go ahead and mix the filling. Start with 2 tablespoon of cinnamon and if you want more cinnamon, gradually add in the cinnamon.
  • After 30 minutes, take the dough and roll it out. Make sure sprinkle a little bit of flour onto your work area and rolling pin. I like to divide my dough into two equal portions before I roll it into a rectangle sheet approximately 1/4″ thickness.
  • Spread the filling with a spatula and roll it long ways. Cut into equal pieces.
  • In a baking pan spray cooking oil and place all the pieces in the pan.
  • Let it rest 20-25 minutes, the rolls will rise again.
  • Bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes.
  • While the rolls are baking, mix the icing. Gradually add the milk so you can get the consistency you want. If you want thick icing add less milk, you want thin and runny icing add more milk.
  • Insert a toothpick in the rolls to make sure they are fully cook and then take them out.
  • At this point I like to drizzle and drench my rolls with the icing or you can wait until the rolls cool down to drizzle the icing.

Well that’s it for my cinnamon roll recipe. It looks like it is a lot of work, but I can assure you that it is not a lot of work and very simple to do. If you do decide to make the recipe, I hope you enjoy it!

Hello everyone!

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Thanks!

For a Whole Year I Couldn’t Wear a Bralette Underneath My Shirt, Here is to Why

Today while I was getting ready work, I look at my bras and then my chest. Honestly, I was looking at armpits. My right armpit was especially pain from the compression of my bra. I rummage through to see if I have any available wireless bras. No, I was out of luck. However, I did have a bralette.

I especially love bralettes despite not having support. The last time I wore a bralette, one of my favorites one too, I got a bit offended. I was out with my friends, before left home I asked my sister to make sure my chest looks fine. By that I meant the following:

Is my shirt too thin?

Can you see my bralette?

Does it looks like I have multiple nipples?

If you are wanting a good laugh, here’s the downside to my bralette. It has these cute appliqués on it, but once it’s put on the appliqués don’t lie flat. So depending on what shirt I choose to wear, sometimes it may appears that I have multiple nipples.

Anyway, my sister gave me the ok and I was on my way. The day went by incredibly well. My friends and I were having fun, then we decided it was time for dinner before we head home. After dinner, since we had time to spared we were just walking in downtown Asheville. I didn’t notice it at first, but I was standing under a lamp post, so, one of my friend told me to stay still so he can a get a picture. It was a great picture and one by one each of us started line up under the lamp post.

Just as we were about to walk away, these two guys approached us or rather me. I have always been the one to ignored strangers, but one of my friends, began to talk to them. Before I knew it, one of them turned to me and said:

“Girl, I love those natural tits on you I can just take you home with us and have some fun. I like my girls with no bras on anyway.”

My guy friends, who are so overprotective on a whole other level, we’re just ready to pounce. Anyway we got them to leave us alone, but not before the other said:

“Why all of y’all so upset? We just want to compliment her.”

We call it a day, went home, and I never wore a bralette out to public ever again. On the way home, I was so upset that I asked my friends if my shirt was too thin. They all say no and I was wearing pink cotton t-shirt. I was feeling and doing great all day, until those two men showed up. My shirt wasn’t fitted, instead it was a boxy oversized crop top. I choose color that I knew wouldn’t be too light. I was feeling confident, but that was all gone within a few seconds.

I didn’t wear a bralette because I wanted to show off my d-cup breasts. I wore it because I wanted to be comfortable and at that time I didn’t have any wireless bras. Bras are so expensive and moreover,I can barely find my size, 40D at Walmart, Target, or Kohl’s. Sometimes I even have a hard time finding my size at higher end places like Torrid and Lane Bryant. So, I choose what I can afford, and I wanted to try wearing bralettes because they were on the rise.

I’m over it. Here is me with my bralette on that I’m going to wear to work so that I can be comfortable. Wearing bras all time can be suffocating.

I learned that I loved wearing bralettes because they are so comfortable and cute. But really, did those guys really have to stare so hard to make out to see if I was wearing a bra or not? Why does it matter if I was wearing a bra or not? Is it crime?

After a year of not wearing bralettes when I go out, even if it’s just to put gas in my car or go get bananas at Walmart. I put it on today to go to work. I told myself people can stare all they want because right now I can care less. My decision to not wear a bra is not a crime and most definitely not a shout out that I want a hook up. It’s my decision to be comfortable for the long day ahead. And on a side note, gentlemen if you think telling a random girl how nice her natural boobies are and wanting to take her home is a compliment, think again. Not all girls want to hear that especially from strangers.