Take Me Back to the Night We Met

**Note: This a guest submission from one of my friends who wished to remain anonymous. 

A friend once told me through a handwritten letter that she wanted to go back to the night we met. Not the day when we first ran into each other in middle school and become friends. Not the last day she spent with us in high school before moving out of state. But the night when she came back to visit her relatives and friends. In her letter, she wrote that had so many things she wanted to talk about but she couldn’t. She continued to write that she felt as if the entire world has given up on her. For a moment that we spent conversing and catching up, she felt as if someone cared. However, she wrote she got scared because she didn’t know who she can trust anymore.

It wasn’t just her that wanted to go back to that night. After I finished reading her letter, I thought the same thing. I vaguely remember about how she quit talking about her school and everyday life and didn’t want to continue. Moreover, I clearly remember she just looked so dead exhausted as if she was at dead’s end. She was, I had sensed it but I ignored it because I thought she’d told me one day. Only I wasn’t expecting for her to tell me through a letter. That night I went to sleep like usual, but I couldn’t get a good night rest. The following morning, I was just restless.

I went to school and by the end of the day I learned that out of all her friends in high school, I was the only one to receive a letter and the only who she contacted at least two or three times a year when she got married. All the possible signs were there, she showed it that night and through the times when we chat online. I felt…foolish for not doing anything. I felt that I hadn’t been a good friend for her. That night, I used to think to myself, I should have continued to talk to her, introduce her to my new friends, and the very least let her know that she was still part of my life that I still cared about her. Instead, I chose to walk away.

Dead End

Submitted by Anonymous

2 cups of harsh words
1/2 teaspoon of salt in my wound
4 wine bottles of shards between

Just enough to make her cry. Enough to make her bruise all over her body until it aches. Enough for her storm into the bathroom and lock the door. But not enough for her to leave you.

1 glass of red champagne
1/4 cup of Hershey kisses
1 teaspoon of sweet words

Just enough to make her smile and know that you won’t leave her just yet. Enough to comfort her while lying on the bed beside your cold empty space. More than enough to keep her from leaving your grasp.

4 cups hot boiling water
3 cups of heated cooking oil
6 cups of tears

More than enough to get her to leave you. She can walk straight out of your hands right now. Push you into your own circle of flames and say that you deserve it. But it’s all in her head. Only in her head.

1/2 teaspoon of honey
1 tablespoon of lemon
1/8 teaspoon of your comfort

Enough to make her feel worthy of herself. To make her feel that she is loved by you and only you. Enough to make her feel that she doesn’t matter to anyone else, but you. This little sweet and sour taste that fills her heart and soul to make her come dwelling in your dungeon.

Waiting for Love

I hope you all will enjoy reading this cute and funny, yet, sad post from my friend Addy.

This may sound silly, but I’m 24 years old. All my friends, well most of my friends, are married, engaged, and have boyfriends/girlfriends. My friends that are still single, you may ask. They won’t be single for long. In fact, they’re lucky simply because they’re always getting ask to go on a date. And me? I’m single for life.

My name is Adrianna, better yet Addy. I have never had a boyfriend before because my parents always emphasized education before boys. And my aunts always said “boys are not worth the tears” probably because they saw how my older sisters and cousins get heartbroken. So basically, I’m the queen of friend zoning. What lied. In fact, I have never had a boy asked me out before and I never cared. Boys treat me like their friends and I never care. And when my friends were recovering from heartbreaks, I was busying passing tissues to them and studying at the same time. Continue reading “Waiting for Love”

Guest Post: Addiction to Kpop/KDrama

Submitted by Angela K.

The Hallyu wave is taking the world by a monsoon. Many teens and even college students are into Kpop and KDrama. If you are new to these two words, don’t need to worry because you’ll soon learn more about them or learn that you don’t really need to know about them. Just like how a person can show signs of being addicted to her smartphone, the same can happened with Kpop and KDrama. I know because I’ve been there.

In my senior year of high school, 2009-2010, my friend introduced me to a whole new world by three simple songs. Sorry Sorry by idol boy group Super Junior, Wedding Dress a solo by TaeYang a member of idol boy group Big Bang, and finally Gee by idol girl group Girl’s Generation. Those three songs were just the beginning. I then ventured into an even more adventurous world. My first Korean miniseries, Secret Garden starring the now famous actor Hyun Bin and popular actress Ha Ji Won. And the then famous talk show Strong Heart with famous MC and former pro wrestler Kang Ho Dong and the ever pretty boy Lee Seung Gi. It was a whole new world for me.I spent my summer working part time at Burger King and Continue reading “Guest Post: Addiction to Kpop/KDrama”

Incomplete Life

submitted by Anonymous

I once thought about suicide. Wonder how I’d be free of all my problems and. Live happily or will  I ever? There were days that I just look around and think to myself how empty my life was. And how it’s just so bland, no excitement no nothing. Nowadays I am jealous of my friends who would reply “I can’t hang out because I have work.” For me it’s “I need to hang out” or “grab a drink” because I’m currently unemployed and have nothing to do beside reading and writing all day.

I begin to realize that school days were the bomb of the my life. I always had something to do and at least I was never alone. Actually during school days I look forward to my “alone self days” to spend time to myself.  And I miss those days. Even then there were nights I lied in bed tossing and turning until 2am thinking what I’m doing with my life. And why am I working so hard for nothing. I studied hard but sometimes I don’t get the grade I want at the end of the semester. I never give up, keep trying and staying positive but then I don’t get the job I want at the end. Everything seems to fall apart and nothing isn’t working out right.

There were even times I tell myself “Dying will make you feel better” and so I would held my breath like a game, but I never finish the game. And there are no interruptions for me to finish my game, I just never finish it and I don’t know why. Maybe I’m afraid to die knowing I’ll die with regrets? I don’t know. Some days I even think about mixing clorox bleach with water to drink. There’s a reason why the label says not to drink it. Of course, I haven’t gone that far as the clorox is always in the back of my sister’s car, and she takes her car everyday to work.

Searching for happiness and a meaning to live wasn’t what I was doing, I was looking for ways to survive in this harsh and cruel world. How to transition from independent to dependent? And sometimes being jealous of those who are already one or two steps ahead of me. One day I realized something and that something woke me up real good. I had just finished reading Hector and the Search for Happiness like a week ago and was talking to my friend on the phone. She was telling me how one of her younger female cousin committed suicide because her cousin failed the College Entrance Exam in South Korea. Yes, my friend’s family is from South Korea. Unlike the US where the SAT and ACT are offered throughout the  year multiple times, there is only once chance per  year for students in South Korea to take the college entrance exams to get into their choice of university. Luckily, she didn’t died. Her older brother saw her suffocating just in time, so she’s still alive and now studying somewhere in South Korea.

My friend was telling me about how she felt bad for her female cousin. And I told her that’s because no one had told her cousin that she had worked hard all along and she did her best up to her limit. And life should never be measured by how well the scores, evaluations, or promotions are. Instead it should be measure by the people who appreciates us and by every breath we breathe every second because someone is always thinking about us, our parents, siblings, and friends. I realized then that even I haven’t notice that and if I did I ignored the fact that I gave it my all and that I have much more to live for. It’s not just about me, but those around me as well.

Nowadays, I’m doing fine. Still unemployed but at least I’m getting paid to babysit and to walk dogs every other days. I still feel like my life is still incomplete, but as I keep going and work harder I realize my life is bound to be complete one day. Maybe not 100% complete, because life isn’t meant to be that way. Something will always either be lacking or needs improvement.

Giving Thanks

Earlier I published a post concerning about my guest submissions. Well, I received a few more submissions today and of course yesterday. Luckily I found a few good ones to share. Here’s the first.

Submitted by Ariella

It’s almost that time of the year again that families gather together to give thanks to all the precious gifts we have earned in life. Three years ago around this time my family have lost a precious person, our great grandfather. When I was little he would sit around by the fireplace and tell us stories back from the days of the Nazis. My family is Jewish and my great grandfather along with his older brother survived. Of course, like most any other children we wouldn’t care much about his stories. We were too concerned about these cool electronic gadgets and hanging out with friends. On some days my great grandfather would asked us to give him massages and of course most of the time we would tried to scattered away.

There’s that saying “You only know what you have after you lost it” that is exactly how I feel on some of these lonely autumn days. Before I left for college, every day after we all came home from school my great grandfather would be sitting outside on the front porch in his rocking chair. He would wave to us as we get off the school bus and asked us how school was. Of course, we would just be like “great” and walk inside. Even after I left for college he would sometimes called me and I would find it annoying as I wanted to spend more time with my friends instead.

My great grandfather was always a strong man and energetic one too. I thought he would always live forever since he was so bright. And because my grandpa passed away before he did. Until one day I received a phone call that from my younger siblings that he passed away due to cardiac arrest. I was shocked at the news and couldn’t even speak to my friends for days.

Now that I think about it my great grandfather was the best gift ever from God and I just didn’t realize it. My parents both work so they were never home, we were always left with my great grandfather and he practically raised all of us up, all ten of us. Every Thanksgiving my family and I always make sure to gather my great grandfather’s grave to get our blessings and to thank God for such a precious gift.

Friends, Neglect, Decisions

Submitted PinkPanda

Lately, I’ve been feeling that my friends are neglecting me. I know or at least hope that it isn’t true, but that’s how I feel and I don’t know how to express it to them or even tell them. I lived with them for three years now because we all live away from home and rented an apartment together. There are ten of us total living together. And I just got a new roommate recently because my old roommate transfer. I know that one i my roommate mentioned that she didn’t like my new roommate for no particular reasons, but I just ignored it since I like my new roommate. And plus, I already told them that I’m going to get a new roommate because she was looking for a place to live. As of right now they’re all mutual and my roommate is a good person. And we’re both very quiet so it’s kind of awkward in our room sometimes.

Continue reading “Friends, Neglect, Decisions”

More than Nail Polishes

Submitted by thischic_93

I guess we all have this one friend that would just quietly sits with you as you go on complaining about your everyday life. I have friend just like that as well, Gracie. I met her in college and she was really quiet even around our circle of friends. So, quiet that we called her “Country Mouse” because she was also from the country. As much as her quietness, she was also a very smart girl. So, smart and quiet were the two words that we always described her. She always knew what to say or do to make us (our group of friends) feel better. And plus just like any ordinary girl she loved to do nails. She would sometimes sit in her room quietly doing her nails, but you knew she was in there because you can smell the nail polish remover. So, whenever we needed our nails done she was our salon to go to. Continue reading “More than Nail Polishes”

Eldest

Submitted by ttlee89 

In so many movies that I have seen before I always hear one thing, “Never grow up so fast.” However, sometimes there are many of us that can’t help but to just grow up faster than our peers. And for those get to stay around their age for a long time, I get jealous. Being the oldest among my younger six siblings, I had no choice but to become a father and mother for all of them at 18 years old. I was only still a high school senior planning to go to college and becoming a lawyer to help my Hmong community when I grew older and had a stable life. That dream was cut short.

My parents were having marital problems and me, my two younger siblings, being the older three children, knew about it. My mom was having an affair for the longest time without my dad knowing about. However, my dad soon found it but he could never caught her in the action. Finally, one day of my aunt saw my mom with another guy. She told my dad and show him a picture of it. My aunt was still young as well, she was a second year student working for her Masters of Public Health. She didn’t knew what to do so she just told my dad. He was infuriated and when my mom came home that evening, he beat my mom really bad. She called the cops on him and we didn’t know what to do. I can still hear my younger siblings’ screams and cries until this day. Continue reading “Eldest”

6 Years Love

submitted in by Katrina Lee

I met him in middle school and he was such a nuisance. However, we got along fine with each other. He’s smart, good looking, tall and not so slim not so fat, plays soccer, and can play the guitar. I’ve met his whole family before at his birthday party and he has seen mine around. So, we’re pretty close. Our parents know each other meeting each other at a teachers parents conference. And our families have been to a few trips together over the past few years. I thought I was never going to like him, I even told myself “Nope. There is no way we could end up together because we’re just friends.” That was lie. A big time lie that I didn’t see coming. About our junior year in high school he started dating and before he dated we were salt and pepper and glue and paper. We were always together to the point that sometimes our friends were teasing us, laughing at us and pointing fingers at us saying “Get married already.” However, after he started dating we begin to drift apart. Of course we still hang out with the same group of friends once in a while, but’s really just like “hey you can tell my mom I’m gonna be late because something came up” or “hey did you finished your math homework.” You get the picture?  Continue reading “6 Years Love”