Letters not send, #3

Dear the Guy at the hiring event somewhere in NC,

Although, I remember your name I prefer to no use your name but rather simply refer you as the guy. And though, I was part of the hiring event I prefer to leave the city unknown.

This morning as I walk in for the hire event, as of course I volunteer to help being part of the company from your brother store an hour away, I couldn’t help but listened to you ridiculing an interviewee from the previous day. Though, you may have not been ridiculing her in my ears and eyes you were. The way you said out loud ” I don’t understand why you would want to work at a retail store especially when you have a bachelor degree in biology. I mean why would you want to work for a retail store?” Although, it sounded like any typical question, your tone and attitude were not. It sounded as if you were looking down on her, on me, my friends and family.

It wasn’t until I spoke up and you looked surprised and everyone around look at me. And then you asked me about my own education background. In fact, I had more to say to you, more to say to everyone that were present. And more to say to people like you who question young people with high degrees. Continue reading “Letters not send, #3”

Letters not Send, #1

Dear Mao,

Once a upon a time we were friends. I remember the first day you moved and started school with us. You had no one. No one wanted to be your friends, but since I already knew you when you moved I became your friend and soon you joined our group of friends. Forever friends we were, or at least we thought. For moment, I just thought of how short our friendship lasted, barely made it through middle school. Actually, it didn’t even made it through middle school.

I thought amongst to myself that even though, other girls of our group of friends didn’t like me any longer and couldn’t accept me for who I am. I thought at least I had you. I thought you had my back like how I always had yours. I was wrong. For the longest time I hated you. I hated you because you turned your back against me when I did nothing wrong against you. I hated you because you left me without ever thinking if you hurt my feelings. I hated you because you hated me for no reasons but to just hate me like almost every other girls that hated me.

For a long time I questioned myself why and what I did wrong. But I couldn’t find no other answer other than I chose the wrong friends. I wanted to be like, I wanted to fit in but I couldn’t.

Since then I ignored you. Even when I see you I on the road or in the store I make a detour. And I know it sounds childish, but that was how much I hated you. I didn’t, no, I couldn’t stand the sight of your face. I wanted you to know, to feel the same pain I felt. And everyday I cursed that one day you will face the same day. But I know that you won’t go through the same I went through.

Years went by and I just accept the fact of everything that happened. Accepting it as my karma from past misdeeds or even living a damn horrible past life. And I don’t even believe in past lives. But, I forgive you and myself.

While you’re starting the next chapter of your life, I’m also rewriting my life. And, still I can’t face you yet because it’s awkward, but I do hope that one day we’ll just be able to sit and talk face to face. And let bygones be bygones.

And though, I can’t bring myself to tell you. I’m happy for you and your accomplishments. I’m proud of the woman you became. I only wish the best for your future endeavors.

You will never see this letter because you will never receive it. I can only hope that one day you accidentally discover my blog and find this letter. If not, it’s okay because I don’t wish for much but that you are happy.

Sincerely,
MaiMai